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| The Centrifugal Baby-Dryer. Things get weird after this. |
The device, which was developed to allow busy modern parents to replace the traditional and time-consuming method of using a soft towel to dry their post-bath child, may instead unexpectedly malfunction and fling the infant into an alternate dimension of time and space.
A spokesman at The Facility verified the presence of "some sort of matter displacement glitch" in at least one of the machines in question. This finding was confirmed by Glen Mondebrat, who as a baby was evidently transported to a parallel universe earlier this week when the centrifugal dryer unit his parents had placed him into after his bath failed to function as advertised.
Reports indicate that Mondebrat, after vanishing from his parent's home on Tuesday as a 16-month-old baby, reappeared shortly thereafter that same day as a 47-year-old man. In a bizarre twist of quantum fate, Mondebrat emerged "as if from out of nowhere" to find himself standing in line at The Facility's complaint counter directly behind his own parents, who had just arrived to report his disappearance less than thirty minutes earlier.
Mondebrat, who had been missing only briefly in our own time period, while in the strange dimension where he found himself deposited as a baby had apparently reached adulthood, raised a family of his own, and played a key role in vanquishing a hybrid race of cruel reptile-ape overlords before returning to this reality through what is being referred to as "a small but dynamically shifting rip" in the time/space continuum.
Product Safety Engineers at The Facility are optimistic that the Mondebrat case will prove to be a one-of-a-kind incident, but regardless are strongly urging consumers to immediately stop using the dryers and return them to the nearest Happy Household Products outlet, or deliver them directly to The Facility for a full refund and compensatory free gift.
